Connecting to Admired Leadership
What Should I Discuss at my One-on-Ones?
Episode Summary
A conversation with CRA | Admired Leadership Partner Diana Hong and host Matt Coyne, exploring one of the most underutilized leadership tools: the weekly one-on-one. Diana unpacks why these meetings so often default to status updates, how flipping the agenda to the direct report changes everything, and what leaders with large spans of control can do to make these conversations count. The session covers practical guidance for both leaders and direct reports — including how to reclaim one-on-ones for growth, development, and real dialogue.
Episode Notes
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Key Highlights
- Weekly one-on-ones aren't optional — they're how you keep everyone headed in the same direction: Without regular check-ins, people veer off course without anyone noticing until it's too late to course correct.
- The direct report should own the agenda: When leaders drive the meeting, it becomes a task list. When direct reports drive it, it becomes a conversation — and accountability follows naturally from people who helped shape the plan.
- The 10-10-10 structure: You go, I go, we go. Ten minutes for the direct report to lead, ten for the leader to share feedback and updates, ten to align on next steps together. It's a starting point, not a rigid formula.
- Status updates don't belong in one-on-ones: If the meeting is consumed by project updates, propose a weekly email instead. It frees the conversation for coaching, development, and the things that actually require dialogue.
- Large spans of control require more discipline, not less: If you have to reduce frequency, commit to the cadence and make each conversation richer. A monthly one-on-one that gets canceled sends a louder message than no one-on-one at all.
Notable Quotes
- "If you're just telling someone what to do next, there's every chance they sit there and go, hmm — and then do whatever they were going to do anyway."
- "Imagine making your direct report feel like a task list. That's kind of what happens in a one-on-one that you drive."
- "We don't want a secret test. We want truly the encouragement and the attitude of — speak up."
- "If you do have to downshift the frequency, you've got to commit to it. And then you've got to commit to making it really rich."
- "What do you need from me right now — is it just to listen, or is it to intervene?" — one of the most useful questions a leader can ask.
Featured Speakers
- Diana Hong is a Partner and Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in strategic communications and leadership advisory. With over 20 years of experience advising senior leaders, she brings sharp insight and practical wisdom to some of the most common — and most mishandled — leadership challenges.
- Matt Coyne is an Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership team, hosting in place of Wes Bender for this session.
Resources Mentioned