Connecting to Admired Leadership
The Three Signals Every Message Sends
Episode Summary
A conversation with Admired Leadership Executive Coach, Jordyn Kreshover, and Wes Bender from CRA | Admired Leadership, exploring why the same four words - "come into my office" - can create completely different experiences depending on how a leader shows up. Drawing from communication research, the 2008 auto industry bailout hearings, and a recent client coaching example on delivering promotion news, this session reveals that every message a leader sends is simultaneously doing three things: advancing a task, projecting an identity, and signaling something about the relationship. Most leaders only plan for one. Jordyn provides a practical framework for becoming a strategic communicator who designs all three signals intentionally rather than leaving two of them entirely up to chance.
Episode Notes
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Key Highlights
- The three signals framework: Every message - every email, meeting, hallway conversation - is simultaneously advancing a task, projecting an identity (how do I want to be seen?), and signaling something about the relationship (how do I see this person?) whether you intend it to or not
- Three types of communicators: Expressive communicators react and say what they feel (authentic but full of accidental signals); conventional communicators follow scripts and norms; strategic communicators design - they ask "what am I actually trying to accomplish here?" and think about all three signals
- The 2008 auto CEO bailout: A masterclass in what happens when leaders nail the task signal but ignore identity and relationship - flying private jets to ask for a government bailout sent signals of disconnection and entitlement that nearly derailed the entire effort, regardless of intent
- Channel matters as much as message: Different channels suppress different signals - email is efficient for task but strips out relationship entirely, leaving people to fill in tone with the worst possible interpretation; strategic communicators ask which medium will actually carry the signals they intend
- The accidental vs. intentional leader: The accidental leader asks "what do I need them to do?" The intentional leader also asks "how do I want to be seen?" and "what do I want this message to say about how I see this person?" - going beyond task to design identity and relationship signals deliberately
Notable Quotes
- "Communication is never just information transfer. Every message is doing three things at once - advancing a task, projecting an identity, and signaling something about the relationship - whether you're aware of it or not."
- "A strategic communicator can turn a birthday party into a funeral, and a funeral into a birthday party - because they're aware of the situation and know how to use communication to drive outcomes."
- "The intention is beside the point. The signals landed anyway, and it nearly derailed the entire effort." (on the auto CEO bailout)
- "Email strips out the relationship signal entirely. Because they can't see your tone, they're often filling it with the worst possible interpretation of what you truly mean."
- "The other two signals aren't disappearing - they're just going unmanaged. That's what we want leaders to focus on: how are you being intentional about all three?"
Featured Speakers
- Jordyn Kreshover is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in strategic communication, organizational change, and leadership visibility. With nearly a decade advising senior leaders at some of the world's most recognizable companies, she helps leaders use communication as a lever to drive outcomes - whether launching a new strategy, leading through change, or building deeper connection with their teams.
- Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content.
Resources Mentioned