Connecting to Admired Leadership
Saying Nothing Usually Makes Things Worse
Episode Summary
A conversation with Admired Leadership Partner, Michelle McDermott and Wes Bender from CRA | Admired Leadership, exploring the hidden costs of remaining silent in critical moments and why speaking up matters even when outcomes seem uncertain. Drawing from over 20 years of advising senior leaders through challenging communication situations, this session reveals how silence is never neutral and provides practical frameworks for overcoming the fear that keeps leaders from contributing their voice. Michelle shares actionable strategies for speaking up effectively, delivering difficult feedback, and understanding when silence might actually be the right choice.
Episode Notes
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Key Highlights
- Silence is not neutral: Choosing not to speak is an active decision that affects outcomes - you're making a choice to withhold wisdom and perspective that could benefit the situation, and people will interpret your silence
- Two primary fears drive silence: Fear of being perceived incorrectly (what will people think of me?) and fear of damaging relationships (will this move us backwards?) - but judgments happen whether you speak or stay silent
- Retrain the silence habit: If you have a self-limiting narrative ("I'm not someone who speaks up"), commit to asking at least one question in every meeting to build the muscle of contributing your voice
- Frame feedback for the future, not the past: Instead of "Let's talk about how that meeting went," say "For the next meeting, here's what I want to see more of or less of" to reduce defensiveness
- Know when to stay out of it: Not every problem requires your voice - ask if you're the right person to have the conversation, and don't give oxygen to secondhand complaints or hearsay
Notable Quotes
- "Silence is not neutral. It's a choice that affects the outcome - you're making a choice to not play and not have people benefit from your wisdom."
- "Whether you're speaking up or not speaking up, there's always a judgment, there's always an interpretation. So you might as well participate so there's a conclusion based on something, not based on silence."
- "You're in that room for a reason. You wouldn't be in the discussions if your point of view wasn't important."
- "You have the agency to move a relationship forward or backwards. When you choose not to speak, you miss that opportunity."
- "Our voice is a really big part of making people and situations better as leaders."
Featured Speakers
- Michelle McDermott is a Partner at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in strategic communications and leadership coaching with over 20 years of experience advising senior leaders through organizational changes, crises, and high-stakes decisions. A mother of three who has worked with organizations including Bank of America, Bristol Myers, Dell, McDonald's, and World Bank Group, she helps leaders find their voice in moments that matter most.
- Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content.
Resources Mentioned