Connecting to Admired Leadership
Learn to Respond Instead of React
Episode Summary
A conversation with Admired Leadership Executive Coach, David Albritton and Wes Bender from CRA | Admired Leadership, exploring the critical difference between reacting and responding as a leader. Through powerful personal stories from his Navy career and corporate experience, David illustrates how leaders can develop the discipline to create space between triggers and responses, ultimately leading to better outcomes and stronger relationships. The session provides practical strategies for building the behavioral habits that allow leaders to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively in challenging situations.
Episode Notes
Register to be part of future conversations in real time here
Or schedule a time to talk directly to our team here
Key Highlights
- Two contrasting leadership stories: One showing how a senior admiral responded with grace when David made a career-threatening mistake with VHS tapes during a high-stakes presentation, and another where David's own reactive response to a difficult colleague cost him $50,000 in bonus and a promotion opportunity
- Moving beyond conventional wisdom: Traditional advice like "count to 10" treats symptoms rather than root causes - the best leaders develop consistent behaviors that create natural space between triggers and responses
- The power of inquiry over immediate answers: Develop the habit of asking 1-3 questions before responding, using phrases like "Tell me more about that" or "Say more about why you're feeling that way" to create thinking space
- Throwing problems back strategically: When someone brings you an emotionally charged issue, ask them for more context about how and why they feel that way - this gives you time to reflect while helping them process their emotions
- Judicious shows of emotion can be motivational: Sometimes a look or controlled display of frustration can be effective feedback, but only when built on a foundation of clear expectations and strong relationships
Notable Quotes
- "Leadership is what you do. It's how people react to you that's most important. Everybody else that engages with us is grading our papers based on our engagement."
- "Our goal isn't really to eliminate our emotional reactions because we are first human beings. What we want to do is develop consistent behaviors that create a space between the trigger and the response."
- "What we're not trying to do is automatically equal an answer in the immediate. What we're trying to do is become an excellent problem solver."
- "You owe them a response, not necessarily an answer to their question. Think about the difference in the frame with those two."
- "If you respond smartly, you can diffuse or derail a negative situation versus reacting immediately and viscerally and creating a kerfuffle."
Resources Mentioned