Connecting to Admired Leadership
In the Absence of Feedback
Episode Summary
A conversation with Admired Leadership Partner & Executive Coach, John Cook and Wes Bender from CRA | Admired Leadership, exploring the critical role of feedback in leadership development and team performance. Drawing from legendary coach Pat Summitt's insight that "people fill in the blanks with negative" in the absence of feedback, this session provides practical frameworks for both seeking and delivering feedback effectively. John shares actionable strategies for navigating feedback-sparse environments, leading high performers, and creating feedback-rich cultures where continuous improvement becomes the norm.
Episode Notes
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Key Highlights
- The praise-stingy paradox: Leaders with extremely high standards tend to withhold feedback because excellence is simply expected - but this silence causes people to presume negative, making regular feedback essential even for high performers
- The 2x2 feedback framework: Effective feedback balances valence (how it's received - positive or negative) with utility (how actionable it is), aiming for the "Holy Grail" of positive reception with high usefulness while avoiding the "insult bucket"
- Be specific when seeking feedback: Never ask "Give me some feedback" - instead, identify one specific area you're working on and ask people who see you in action to tell you when they observe you doing it well or poorly
- Leading without domain expertise: When leading people whose expertise exceeds your own, focus on developmental experiences, removing roadblocks, and creating high-performing team dynamics rather than trying to match their technical knowledge
- The 1-10 framework for actionable feedback: Ask "On a scale of 1-10, how am I doing as your [role]?" then follow with "What one thing could I do to get from a [X] to a [X+1]?" to generate specific, actionable insights
Notable Quotes
- "Leaders who demand the best from others tend to be praise stingy because that desire for excellence is so high. But when they do give feedback, it lands with real power and meaning."
- "The Holy Grail is feedback that's received in a positive way and also has usefulness - it's actionable, I can do something with it in the future."
- "How you do anything is how you do everything. If you have blind spots at work, they're likely showing up at home or in the community too."
- "Leadership is a contact sport. There is feedback all around you if you're open to it - in how people react to your presentations, in the questions they ask, in their behavior."
- "The best teams are more player-led than leader-led. Your job isn't to know their role better than they do - it's to create clarity around goals, remove obstacles, and point to the North Star."
Featured Speakers
- John Cook is a Partner & Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in executive coaching and leadership development. A father of four and avid fly fisherman, he works extensively with C-suite leaders while also developing emerging coaches within the firm. Known for his constant pursuit of feedback and commitment to continuous improvement, he brings practical frameworks for talent development and team performance.
- Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. A proud Tennessee Volunteers fan from Knoxville.
Resources Mentioned